I know I owe you a full update, I know I haven't written in a long while.
It's just that I'm really busy with my studies, work, meetings for the department, my non-existent social life (aka trying to figure out whether I should ask someone out or not, really difficult, I can tell you!) and so on.
But I just wanted to share a tiny little moment with you, just this.
I'm sitting on ground floor right now, working on a portfolio for journalism which is due in three days (ah fuck, just three days, I'm screwed!)
That girl just walked past, I only noticed her because she's wearing a Hogwarts-jumper and I quite liked it. She got up half a minute ago, now she just came back from the table with the hole-punchers and staplers to sit down with her friends again.
Apparently, she just went to try out the electronic stapler, I heard the sound while trying to focus on that interview I'm writing.
Now she came back. And good lord, she's so excited!
I'm assuming that this was the first time she used the electronic stapler, where you just push the papers you want stapled in and the stapler, well, staples them for you.
I know it sounds boring, but people get excited over it all the time!
So she came back and pointed at her papers, now neatly stapled, and she looked so genuinely excited and happy about it. And her face said 'Look, this is so cool, look!'
I love these moment, these tiny moments when people get excited over the smallest things in the world. Isn't it beautiful?
Wearing a coat of gold, Autumn enters the streets of Scotland. He is a tall man, a God of destruction and change, his rule is that of passing and rebirth. Where he goes the world changes to red and orange; to blazing colours in the wind and the smell of cinnamon and berries; to dying leaves and mist over water. Following him are his loyal beasts, bringing storm and frost, rain and thunder over the land, ever-panting dogs, close to their master. He commands and the beasts obey, anticipating every order, every word from his lips. He sends them away, sends them to hunt and grey fur becomes one with the colour of the changing skies as they run off.
Autumn walks the shores and wanders the forests with steady steps, he roams market streets and cornfields in search of the girl he loves. It’s a game they play, a never-ending game of hide and seek, she runs from him, knowing that she can never run far enough, while he keeps walking at a steady pace. He has no need to rush. And while he longs to see her, to kiss her skin, he is also afraid of finding her, of catching up, of meeting her again.
She is like a young bird, a kitten, a fawn – ingenuous, naïve, so pure that it almost breaks his heart. This is her game, a childish game, but he gladly plays it with her if this is what makes her laugh and dance and sing. How could he not?
Autumn walks the countryside and searches the city, and every once in a while, he is re-joined by one of the beasts when they have picked up a trail, when they need to be in his company for a while or when he grows tired of being alone. And in every city he asks for her, he looks out for her in the parks and in the beer gardens, at the duck ponds and on the swings, in the ice cream parlours and by the riverside where the children play.
He searches for his lover, patiently waiting for the dogs to pick up a new trail, leading him up to the islands or down to the borders. Until one day he finds her standing on a busy street; in the depths of some forest; in the middle of a crowd in a concert hall. One hand at her chest and a smile still on her lips, that smile that makes his heart race and his skin burn. She smiles although she is dying and she knows it, they both do. And now he runs, he runs to catch her before she falls, he keeps her safe while she fights to stay in this world for a little longer, to stay by his side. And she gasps for air, she digs her fingernails into the palm of her hand, trying to blend out the pain of her struggling heart, while he fondles her hair, whispers loving words into her ear and wipes the tears off her face.
It has been like this since the beginning of time, always the same.
She fights for her life while all he can do is hold her and tell her how much he loves her, how much he has missed her. He wraps her in his coat of gold to keep her warm and safe and she smiles, she is so tired but he begs her to stay awake only for a little longer, for him, please, stay awake, I love you, I love you so much, I missed you. And she laughs and he can hear how difficult it is for her to breathe now, how much she hurts, how hard she has to fight for air.
And so he lets her go.
Summer smiles, her head rests on his chest, the sound of his beating heart singing her to sleep.
Wearing a coat of gold, Autumn stands on the streets of Scotland. He is a tall man, a God of destruction and change, his rule is that of passing and rebirth. Around him the world has transformed, a paradise of red and gold, a tribute to his lover, the love of his eternal life.
He misses her.
And as Winter arrives, a grey old man with kind eyes, Autumn gladly steps back into the shadows, to wait for the game to start again.